still crazy after all these years...

...today

marks the beginning

of

my hubby's

60th year.

hard for me to believe

that I have known

this man

for 3/4 of

my life so far.



 I still find

him

fun, crazy, comforting, compassionate,

and

willing to try just about anything.

(take that anyway you want to!)

Oh yeah,

I still happen to find him

rather

handsome.

 

 

Happy Birthday to the one I

laugh with,

cry with,

stand with and

dance with.

Happy Birthday

to my best buddy.

Monday snap...

 

cousins first hug

Miss M 2 yr.

Little Boss  5 months

 

 

 

awwww...

O.K.  that's enough!

 

 

Many years ago my daughter came bounding home from school with some

very important news.

She could hardly get in the door and up the stairs before

telling me the wonderful thing she learned

in school that day.

She had read a story in the newspaper,

yes they read the newspaper everyday in class,

she was about eight at the time,

but I digress...

she had read an article in the paper  about a scientific

study and the amazing results that

IF

a person was to give and receive the equivalent

of twelve hugs a day

they would live longer and happier lives!

From that day on

every nite before bed

after saying her prayers

and reading a story

she would give us

12 hugs...counting each

and

every

one

of

them

out loud

one

at

a

time.

one-two-three-four-five-six-

seven-eight-nine-ten-eleven-

~TWELVE~

 

May your day be filled with love and hugs both giving and receiving.

We all need that wonderful

light in our lives.

p.s.  12 just happens to be my favourite

number.

Pig up...

my husbands Uncle was a pig.  Or is that a hog?  In real life he was the most genial, gentleman I've ever known...accepting me into the 'family' long before my in-laws did, but then again I wasn't his daughter in law so he could have been making an exception!  Anyway, back to my point; my husbands Uncle was a hog buyer.  He lived in Iowa, where all the best hogs live, and was a buyer for a major company that produces pig/hog products...such as bacon.

When he passed away a few months ago and after his estate had been settled there was a box or two of items that no one was really interested in.  I suppose they were slated for the church auction or some one of the many other causes he was involved in.

We were at the house and asked about the boxes and no one seemed interested in the pig platter.  I don't remember ever seeing the platter in use before, or at all, but nothing said "Uncle" to me more than that hog did when we saw him.

We took him home, cleaned him up a little, and decided that we had no idea what to do with him.  I didn't want to put him in the cupboard and forget about it, or put it in the China cabinet as it is quite heavy so it seemed my only other option was to put him on the wall.  We set to super-gluing two small hooks on the back and hung a picture frame wire between them.  Then hung it on a nail secured to the wall.   I have an odd penchant for old frames and looked through my stash only to find this one that was just about right.

So up he went on the dining room wall.  I have a gallery wall on one side of the dining room and after taking down a large mirror and rearranging a few things he fit right in.  Now when I walk by I can't help but smile and think of the wonderful man that I knew as Uncle, as if he was my own.  I also can't help but mutter..."pig up."

How many people do you know that have a pewter hog hanging in their dining room?  "Pig- up y'all."

Saturday night fever...

 ...Sunday night chills,

Monday night sore throat,

Tuesday night aches,

Wednesday night

Thursday night

Friday night

Saturday night headache.

Sunday...

little Miss Maude's "2" birthday.

 That was my week, how about yours?

Happy Birthday my sweet 'punky' girl!

Caption this...

*EDIT*   blogger is not co-operating with the loading of photos...I'll try again, although you guesses are pretty darn funny!



...and win a sweet surprise from me to you with wishes for a Happy New Year!
Winner will be chosen and announced Friday.  Good luck...now go forth an make
me smile.

and the church bells rang, and the children sang...

We had a wonderful Christmas with our little Miss M and our soon to be born Master H.  They brought their parents, who happen to be our children, with them and craziness ensued and fun was had by all.  This year the holidays really sneaked up on me and there was so much that I didn't get done.  I didn't have a chance to have my annual cookie decorating party, nor did we get the tree up until Christmas Eve.  My little elf had been sick so we waited for her to come over and decorate it for us and she did a fabulous job of it!  I didn't get a chance to show you my Crate and Barrel knock-off of NOEL but it you are really interested in it I can do it in a later post.  We only had sandwiches and snacks for our Eve dinner then desert at the in-laws.  Really though when it all comes down to it, the only thing that mattered is that we were all here, together...family.  The best.
I hope your holiday was joyful, there is a new year right around the corner and lots of hope and promise as we make another run around the sun.  Be well and I will see you all soon.

p.s.  I took 94 photos on Christmas Eve and most of them were too dark or fuzzy...these are the best of the worst.  I really need to figure out what my camera problem is!

finding purpose...

...I hope you all enjoyed your Thanksgiving holiday. I am struggling a little right now but that is not unusual for a holiday.  This is the first one since I decided (last summer) that I could not, for my own healths sake, endure the madness of our extended family.   I ran across this today on FB and thought that it was quite appropriate for the season...

I will be back Monday with pictures of our get-together tomorrow.  Happy Sunday!

Heirlooms...



...last summer

(it seems so very long ago)

after a visit to his folks house,

my hubby brought home a shoe box.  It seems his mom was 'cleaning out' some

old family heirlooms and thought we might like to have them.

Like???  does she not know me

after all these years!

The best part,

besides her thinking of me,

was that she included a little note

on each item with regards to who it belonged to and where it came from.

Want to see?

this came from Goldie and Vincents home in Huntsville, Indiana

(not sure who they are exactly but this is from my Father-in-laws family) 

this came from my Mother-in-laws grandparents farm on her dad's side.

the note says...

"dad's mom used to set Jello in this bowl out by the big water tank in the pump shed."

Obviously it was well used

and has been repaired many, many times.

here is another piece from the Indiana folk

passed on from

my husbands grandmother's grandparents!

there are a few more pieces and when I figure out which goes with what little piece of paper I will share them with you.

I realize now

just how important it is

to cataloug those things that are

treasures.



the word of the day...

...is "grumpy." 

we had a family get-together last Sunday to celebrate the summer birthdays of which there are many. ( My goodness November is a 'busy' month!)  Anyway, after all the planning and cooking and shopping for gifts the majority of the guests...o.k. all of them including the hosts were quite grumpy.  Lack of sleep, cranky parents, tired/bored daughter/husband, ungrateful ....well, you get my drift.

Rather than bore you all with the details or further offend anyone who was there, or supposed to be there, I will leave all the 'talking' to my sweet pumpkin.  The end.

A long, hard look...

google images

...every so often life requires us, by circumstance, to take a step back and take a good, hard, difficult look at ourselves.  That has certainly been the case for me as of late and as much as I try to keep my personal life off of the blog this issue has seeped into every pore of my soul and is tearing at the fabric of my being.

I know that you are all aware of my health issues but there is much, much more that I don't share in that regard, and, at times I have skimmed over the troubles I have with my extended family.  I have no desire to turn this blog into a tell--all of the dysfunctional passive aggressive middle school mentality of said family, nor is it an attempt to solicit sympathy.   It's just me and my little heart in a bad place.

Yep, I've got my judgy-pants on, again.  It's not something I am proud of and truth be told I do my best to not be a judgemental person.  Those judgy-pants don't fit me well anymore and that is something I have striven very diligently to accomplish.  But, we are all human and all put those pants on occasionally.  The trick is to not get too comfortable in them and that is where this becomes so difficult for me.  You see, those certain people are quite used to wearing the judgy-pants.  They fit like a glove and are the most comfortable thing they own, and I can't be a part of someone who is thus so comfortable.

If I remove myself from the situation then I change the dynamics of our family.  I will be choosing to not share holidays/special days/summer days/birthdays/any days with the only people I am related to that are still alive.  I will be making a choice that will affect my marriage and my relationship with my children.  But in every sense of the word I will be choosing to save my own life.  I feel so torn right now, so broken that my trust has been shattered.  I feel battered and bruised by the very ones who know who I really am but choose to see something different.

Time to take my judgy-pants off before they get too comfortable.

On this day...

...I had a completely different post in mind for today but then realized that it's Fathers Day.  I can't just let that pass by.

For all of you who are Blessed enough to still have your Father in your life, on this earth.  Call him,  tell him you love him and if you have the chance give him a hug and a kiss.  Let him know how special he is, how much he means to you, what a great dad he is/was.  If mine were here I would take every opportunity, every single day, to tell him just how much he means to me, to my siblings, my husband, our children...we all miss you 'dad,' 'daddy,' 'pop.'

To my husband; thank you for being just the best.  Our children are so Blessed to have you as their father but more importantly they have you as a dad, in every way you are the light of their lives.  They know they can count on you any time, that you will always listen and make their days special.  I pretty much hit the jackpot with you!

To my brother,  I know that there is so much going on in your life right now and it doesn't seem that it will ever be better but you are a great dad.  You have a beautiful girl whom we adore.  I know your time with each other is very special and I know you often think of our dad and pass those wonderful memories and qualities along to your girl.  That one has yours and dads sense of humour!

To my son, on your first father's day...I get tears and my heart swells with pride when I see you with your daughter.  When you told me she was here there was a joy in your heart that I have never seen before.  You are gentle, and kind, and loving and that sweet punkin' has you wrapped around her little finger already!  You make us so proud.

To all of you Fathers out there...happy day.  Now go hug your kids!

Because of her...



flowers from my duaghter today
for
Mother's Day...



...I am a fiery, Irish, red-headed girl.

...I am passionate and funny.

...I love my morning tea and afternoon coffee.

...I cherish my family and adore my grand-baby.

...I embrace beauty and love.

...I am faithful and have faith.

...I am married to my best friend, my biggest supporter.

...I have manners, respect, and compassion.

...I grew up in a wonderful home that would rival Donna Reed.

just like her...

...I have endured unspeakable loss.

...I have little patience for stupidity.

...I have suffered the sting of depression.

...I have no green thumb, pretty hands, or in-style shoes!

....I am torn.

I had a much different post in mind tonight but the words just wouldn't flow when I sat down to write.  My mother deserves much more than a little list from me.  She deserves to be remembered with respect, with a smile, with love.  I miss her more than words can begin to say, just as I miss the little boy and my dad.  She was the driving force in my life and continues to be so now.  There is nothing that I do that doesn't cause me to wonder what she would think.  Most of the time I think she would be happy and proud. She was a force to be reckoned with and she left behind a daughter who is her biggest fan.  Love and squishes to my mom today and always...j

A walk in the park...

(originally posted in 2008, the sentiment remains)

blogger is not allowing a pics to load...sorry.


Thirty-seven years ago today I stood in the doorway, at my father's arm, of St. Vincent de Paul Catholic Church. Ahead of me, down the aisle, was you...the one. After meeting in college and what seemed like a long engagement we were here, on a chilly November evening, in a church lit only by candlelight, to wed.

When I walked back down that aisle, at the arm of my husband, ahead of me was our future. Our care-free childhood, teenage years behind us as we ran through the rain to our car sloshing through puddles laced with shaving cream. Our future...

Maybe it was the rain, or the fact that we just missed being in a serious car accident, or that our keys were lost and we couldn't get into our apartment, that was a sign that ours would be a difficult journey. (Our paths to this point having been laced with many challenges.) We have been to the depths of pure hell...a place no parent should ever have to visit. And we have found, even to this day, that none of the everyday mishaps of life matter at all after you've lost so much.


We have reached the sky and have known the incredible blessing that our amazing children bring to us. They have been a gift beyond measure and I am so glad that you and I have shared such joy together.


We took a vow that day, before God and our families and friends, to always turn towards each other whether it be in joy or sadness. Turn towards each other always so that we will never have to be alone. Everyday you remind me of what that vow really means. Through sickness and health. Through good times and bad. For better or worse...we turn towards each other. We are strong and resilient, we are best friends and lovers (don't tell my mom!) and I would not change you and me for the world.


Happy Anniversary Baby...

stealing memories...

...I was barely nine years old when we moved to Seattle.  It wasn't the first move for our family nor would it be the last but, something about this time felt different.  My dad had been transferred here for his job and had come a few weeks early to find a house and get things in order.  I remember him coming 'home' and all of us piling into the station wagon to make the trip...2500 miles.

It is at this point that I remember everything going forward in my life.  Before age eight most of the memories are scattered pictures in my mind with no real cohesiveness.  It's like a memory puzzle.

Last weekend we went to the big city to visit my son and see his new home.  It is an older home in a well established neighborhood, that has been recently renovated to reflect the current times.  Very nice, with some of the original features that makes it seem quaint. 

As we were leaving we drove in the opposite direction of the way we came.  We lazily drove up and down the streets in the area, looking at the older homes, the view of the water and mountains, the changing of the seasons and the smell of fireplaces being lit.  As we were watching the sun slowly setting for the day I began to have a feeling of contentment.  A familiar warmth, a hug of sorts, and I realized that I had been to this place before.  I recognized the streets, the hill that I used to ride my bike down (and walk my bike up), the school on the corner, the church down the street...I had stumbled upon my childhood home.  The place we lived when we first moved here.

We stopped and I took some pictures to share with my family, wondering if my brother remembered this place.  As I sat in the car I could see the home the way it was so many years ago.   My dad out working in the yard and my mother sitting on the stairs watching us play and heavy with child.  I see her there in her white sleeveless blouse and blue capri pants (she called them pedal-pushers)...I was mesmerised.

It was a feeling of coming full circle, something I can't describe very well or understand but it felt like a beginning and an end.  I haven't been able to get that picture out of my mind.  And I don't think I want to...

Sick day Luuuucy...

...I was born and raised in a strict Catholic family. We went to catechism on Wednesday, ate fish on Friday, and went to Mass on Sunday. We also went to the social after Mass and ate donuts and drank fruit punch. We woke every morning to our mother singing "rise and shine," and we wanted to scream. We shopped twice a year for clothes and shoes and wore saddle shoes to school. We ate cottage cheese and brown sugar sandwiches and loved it. We played card games and board games and always kept track of who had won last. We bowled. We went on vacation every year and didn't have a clue how lucky we were. I took baton lessons. We went out for Hamburgers once a month on payday. We did chores every Saturday morning. We spent hours at the library. We lined up according to height every Christmas morning and the shortest person always got to go first. The shortest person was always the youngest person...we were seventeen years apart. I never went first. We played "Queen for the Day," and got new pajamas every birthday. We prayed at every meal, at bedtime, and in every natural disaster. We prayed and cried when the President was shot. We rode our bicycles until dark only stopping to dodge tumble weeds. We ran around the yard with sparklers when there were days of celebrations. We ate three squares a day and had desert on Sunday. We watched "Laugh In" and the "Friday Night Fights." We drank Tab. We lined up on Saturday mornings to have our hair washed in the big sink. We had a dog named Queenie. And on sick days from school we made a fort in the living room, ate dry toast and drank hot tea, and watched "I Love Lucy".......



May you find the Blessing of ordinary miracles today...xo

Riding the birthday train...

...29 ahem years ago today, at approximately 6:32am, I came face to face for the first time with this beautiful girl.  She is my first and only daughter, she is my last and only daughter.  And unlike the two boys before her, she made her opposition known to everyone in the delivery room, but I, I was ecstatic!

She is fiercely independent, strong, and creative.  She is too funny for words and has a huge heart, she is tender and loving with a passion for life, her family, her friends, and her cat!  She is beautiful in every way that counts.  She is my missing piece.  She made our family complete, and gave her only surviving brother a sibling to love.  Not only do I love her but I am completely in love with her and every time I see her I am in awe.  How could I have possibly had anything to do with this lovely person? 

I read once that when you give birth to a daughter you give birth to a connection unlike any other.  Being close to my boy, I didn't understand this statement but it is true.  She came into this world and I held her hand, and when I leave this world she will be holding mine.  She is my daughter.  She is my friend.  And today I wish her Happy Birthday  Lindsay~~with love.

It isn't you...well, yeah, it is...but not in that way...

...are you feeling a little rejected, disrepected, neglected?  Well, believe me when I tell you that it isn't you, it's me.  I've been happily drinking in all the wonderful summer sunshine while it lasts and, you know around here, that it won't last long.  Thus the lack of posts.

I read an article recently, really I shamelessly stole it from MPM, that I found very interesting with regards to gal pals.  I wanted to share part of it with you with the hopes that you will take a moment and share it with your favorite gal pals.

On this, my birthday, a huge hug and thank you to all my gal pals for holding me up, giving me strength, making me laugh, and getting me through to another birthday.  Love you all:

here we go:

She wrote............ I just finished taking an evening class at Stanford. The last lecture was on the mind-body connection--the relationship between stress and disease. The speaker (head of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends.
At first everyone laughed, but he was serious.
Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality girlfriend time" helps us to create more serotonin--a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being. Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities. They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel. Women do it all the time. We share from our souls with our sisters, and evidently that is very good for our health. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym.

There's a tendency to think that when we are "exercising" we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged--not true. In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking! So every time you hang out to schmooze with a gal pal, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health!
We are indeed very very lucky.
So let's toast to our friendship with our girlfriends. Evidently it's very good for our health

And the other thing...

...I realize that my last post was rather "Seinfeldian," but sometimes I get a little overwhelmed and when I try to get everything in order and down in a sensible manner well...I get all random.  It's just how I roll.

Life has recently handed me (us) a couple of new curveballs and learning to find the new normal has been a rocky climb.  You know life...full of challenges and surprises, moments of sheer joy and unspeakable delight, and in a flash you feel like you are engaged in a battle for your life.  And sometimes you are.

I am fine and we will find a way to embrace the sacred moments of our lives and ask for Grace for this new road.  Thanks for your concern.  Let's move on now shall we?

I am loving the new 'design' feature in blogger and I must admit I have spent more than a few hours playing with the templates!  Problem is that I have issues with indecision and have changed the backroud at least ten times in the last few days.  Gah, pick something and stick with it already.

Today we were fortunate enough to see our first grandbaby's ultrasound.  Sweet.  The little stinker was being shy so we will have to wait another four weeks to find out what name we will be calling him/her.  Ultrasound has come a l-o-n-g way in the last 30years!

and the other thing?  Today my sweet daughter-in-law Lauren kicks off cake season.   Happy Birthday Lauren, may your year be Blessed with much happiness, good health, a beautiful baby, and immeasurable love.  We are so happy that you chose to be part of our family.  Love you sweet girl.

Seven...

...sitting on the edge of the bed, taking off my shoes for the day, brings to mind another day so long ago, when I ached to talk to you much like I do now.

We were all at a  birthday party together and from the get-go I knew something was not right.  When I came over to talk to you your big brown eyes (when did your eyes turn brown?) flashed at me as if lightening in the sky.  I could feel the anger emanating from your every pore.  I didn't understand what was happening or why, and to this day I still do not know.

I called you that night, while sitting on the edge of my bed taking off my shoes.  I desperately needed to talk to you, to hear your voice.  The voice of our mother.  You didn't answer the phone but the words I heard next were devastating.  "I was no longer welcome in your life, I would never be allowed to speak to you again."  What could be so egregious that you would have him tell me that.  Why couldn't you tell me what it was.

A few days later I had a heart attack no doubt brought on by the stress of grieving yet another loss in my life.  I thought that what ever it was between us that you would find a way to be with me but I was wrong.  I've been wrong so many times.  For all of my days and nights that I have left I will never be able to understand how you could walk away.

I haven't forgotten you.  Not a day passes that you don't come to mind.  I've sent you cards and letters, e-mail, texts, phone messages and even sought you out on facebook.  For what ever reason you do not respond back, not a word, not a worry.  When will I learn.

I still grieve for you, for us.  Not only did I lose my sister, my friend, my confidant and partner in crime...my children lost their aunt.  It is unforgiveable that you would walk away from them.  And now, now that I have something happy and wonderful to share with you I am once again at a loss.  Sometimes it is overwhelming.

On this day...

...I thee wed.

(not an accurate depiction of the hubs and i but, it is from our wedding cake)

Thirty six years ago today we stood together and said our vows in front of a church full of family and friends, lit only by candlelight.  Here we are, still standing together, side by side, hand in hand, against the world.  The storms have been rough, the seas high, as we held tight and prayed for Grace.  The joys have been immense...beyond words.  On this day, thirty six years ago, I thee wed...my best friend.  Happy Anniversary Scott.