Wednesday, June 18, 2014
the haunting of sweet joanna...
...I recently posted about a box that I found in my closet. It had been there for at least fifteen years, collecting dust, holding memories, unknown to me. I must have picked it up while cleaning out my parents house and simultaneously moving into our new house. I don't remember.
When I first opened the box it felt like I had found hidden treasure (and in many ways I did.) I wasn't sure if the letters, etc. were of importance or just some old bills and clippings that my dad had put away for safe keeping. I don't know. I wondered if I intentionally took the box from the house knowing what was inside and even if my siblings knew about the letters. They don't.
I have been haunted day and night about the things I've read. All of it very sweet and loving and an amazing glimpse into everyday life in the '40's. These are not the people that I knew years later when I made my appearance, they were so changed by then. I feel like I have been caught with my hand in the cookie jar so to say. This doesn't feel right, it's too personal, and it's just killing me. I don't know what to do with the letters. I want them saved but I don't want to share them with certain people. (that is possibly the ugliest thing I have ever written.)
I don't know how to preserve them for eternity. A scrapbook, a book with some photos (like having your blog published) or to put the box away and let the next generation find it.
I am reaching out to you, my friends. If you have any ideas please leave me a comment. I am literally 'sick' with this. Something this joyful should not feel this bad. Thank you ;j