"the nicest and the sweetest days are not those on which anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens, but just those that bring simple pleasure, following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a string."
Lucy Maud Montgomery

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

true confessions (3)...




photo; bing
...I don't like going so long without posting but I have had the crud for a few weeks now and between that and the fog I am spending most of my time coughing.  woe is me!

But, that is not what I wanted to confess to you today.  It's about the number 49 and how it seems to be a curse in our family, although I'm the only one that has figured this out.  Maybe other family members would disagree but when all of these events are put together it will make most people wonder, curse or coincidence?

I can't say how far back this goes as I don't have all the information so I will start where it all starts for me.  In this instance the number 49 refers to age;

when my grandmother was 49 she became a widow,
when my father was 49 his mother passed (the same one as above),
when my brother was 49 our mother passed,
when I was 49 our father passed,
also when I was 49 and just a few weeks from my 50th birthday I was on my way into town to pick up the mail.  As I went around a tight corner there was a huge logging truck, fully loaded, coming too fast around the corner in the opposite direction, he was in my lane.  There was no where to go so I simply stopped and waited, expecting the worse.  At the last moment he swerved and barely brushed my car.  I was so shaken up that I just sat for a few minutes.  In my stress I had an entirely different scene play out in my mind.  In my mind's eye I was hit by the truck and instantly deceased, I saw the aid cars and fire trucks at the scene, I saw them look inside the car and proclaim that there was no way I could have survived.  I saw them throw a huge tarp over my car just as my husband was driving by on his way home from work. 

I was so shaken up over this that I have no memory of going to the post office or driving home where my hubby was waiting, with the mail in his hands.  I told him I had planned to go to the post office and was surprised he had the mail.  He stated that he picked up the mail and was running late because of a horrible accident on the exit.  He said a logging truck had been speeding and had hit some one, it looked really bad.  This was the same exit that I had been on.

There were times over the next few weeks that I felt so out of sorts that I would literally ask my husband if I was 'dead,' if I was just imagining being alive and he was part of my imagination.  He always tried to reassure me that I was indeed on this planet and we were fine.  Several weeks later, while still feeling out of sorts, I had a heart attack.   I have an obsession with the 49, and not a healthy one at that.

What about you?  Any confessions today?

be well, be strong, have courage...

10 comments:

  1. Thank you so very much for your sweet comment and prayers. They both mean so much to me. Thank you.. hugs

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  2. After something like that, how could you not feel out of sorts? You could have had an out of body experience even without having been injured. Perhaps you actually had 2 heart attacks (Don't mean to be a gloomy gus or whatever); and didn't realize it until the one you wrote about. It could explain the way you felt for so long.

    Post traumatic stress doesn't only happen to the military.

    I can see why the number 49 bothers you so much.
    *hugs* ♥

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    Replies
    1. you may be on to something there L...it never occured to me before.

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  3. Oh, God bless you, Sweetie! What a horrible memory! First that wreck, and then a heart attack at 49! I can see why with all that family history, you'd worry! I'll share a couple of "sort of confessions"....I used to have a lot of terrible nightmares and my husband would often wake me from them, mainly because I think it scared him when I was talking in my sleep and screaming, etc!. But, then the day our daughter died, and he was having to push me in a wheelchair down to see her in the hospital morgue,(because my legs just wouldn't keep me on my feet), I looked around and asked, "Honey, is this a nightmare?" and I still remember his face, and him shaking his head "no." The corridor behind and in front of us seemed endless. Now, I don't seem to have night mares anymore--or I just don't remember them. And the other thing--and I know it is silly--nothing horrible. It seems that more than likely, when I look at a digital clock, (whether it's on the computer or on the microwave, or tv, whatever)--, it's always something like 11:11, or 12:12...or 3:33. That sort of thing. And I kinda wonder---is there something to this? I know it doesn't mean anything, but it's just so odd that when I look at digital time, it's always where there are the same numbers. I don't feel like I'm superstitious, but I always kind of think to myself----"Huh! What's that about!" and shrug it off!

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    Replies
    1. I don't consider myself superstitious but these things make me wonder too. I just don't know.

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    2. Ooops---here I am with "49" in my screen name! Duck! :)

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  4. Oh- How very eerie, Joanne. That gave me chills. I have often had "visions". I will just tell you about one. When my kids were 10-16 we went to a little town about 30 miles away-leaving the kids riding their bikes on our very quiet street in front of our house. We were in the little town and I had this vision of a child being hit by a car while on their bicycle. I told my husband we needed to get home NOW! I scared him with my intensity. We headed home and we came down this big hill into another small town about halfway to our home. There, lying in the street near the sidewalk, was a child that had been hit by a car while riding his bicycle. I started sobbing hysterically. I have had other things like that happen to me, too. I do think there is a fine line that runs between us and others that makes some of us more "receptive" than others- xo Diana

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  5. I make a very good ostrich and bury my head in the sand. Usually. But I did finally take a deep breath once I was older than my dad when he died. That was one long year. Turned out I was fine but we lost a BIL instead. Life is precious and fragile.

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  6. I can completely understand how the number 49 seems cursed to you! Wow. I am glad you weren't really hurt in the accident but oh my. I would seem out of sorts too! I do think at times there are those of us who see something that others can't.

    Heather

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  7. Completely understand your 49 concern.. seems plausible to me that the number is "cursed"... hhhaaa, or something like that. I do believe your wondering about being alive was a premonition of sorts. It just came true in another form than the accident. I have had the unfortunate circumstance of "seeing" (premonition/dream) a sad event, and having it played out - albeit not always exactly. So interesting, isn't it?!

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