little by little, bit by bit, and piece by piece...
if you have diabetes type 1 then you know exactly what that statement means. This disease just keeps taking...taking parts of your body, your soul, your joy and your life. And I just keep wondering how much more I can possibly give, how much stronger do I have to be, when is the giving enough? I had a friend ask me once, "just how much am I supposed to give before it is enough?" I couldn't answer, I was too afraid to, to afraid to find out 'just how much.'
Since last November I have fighting a bone infection in my 'little-leg.' It's been a tough go with non stop antibiotics, non-weight bearing and a return of my BFF~depression. A few days ago, after an MRI, I found that things were headed in the wrong direction. We diabetics are notorious for slow healing but this was backwards slow even for me. And now? Now comes some more hard choices.
Tomorrow I will enter hospital for IV antibiotics and then surgery on Friday to remove the dead tissue and bone. This means my leg will at the very least be an inch shorter than it is now and possibly worse. Yeah, you read that right...worse, as in I could lose my leg above the knee. I've always had a line in my mind that I would not cross and we are getting mighty close to it this go around.
I want to see my babies with their families, I want to see my grandbabies grow up. I want to be part of their lives and for them to know me as grandma...not as 'grandma in the wheelchair.'
If you are the praying type please send up a few on angel wings. If you are not the praying type please send a kind thought, some Peace and light into the Universe. We could all use some light on our paths. Take care dear ones and I will be back as soon as I can with an update. "prayers for big and little things fly heavenward on little wings, and there is not one thought or word that goes unanswered or unheard."