Oh, I had such a good post planned for y'all today. It was SO good, probably my best but sadly we will never know. It is lost in the windmills of my mind. (Who sang that song?)
It's been almost a year now, a long exhausting painful year, since I was able to get outside and enjoy the sunshine, the warmth and loveliness of being out in the back yard.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with Pirformis Syndrome, a very painful nerve condition of the back, hip, and leg. It left me unable to participate in any activities. When you only have the one leg and it decides to go on strike then you are pretty much done. And I was done. I spent the better part of a year having tests, having physical therapy, going to pain clinics, all without avail. "We" decided to try for pain control as surgery is out of the question once you have a heart-attack. (ain't I fun). It took months and months to find the right combinations that would give me relief but not put me to sleep. And finally a few weeks ago I started to see the light. I started to get up in the morning without crying, started going to the grocery store, started spending the evenings talking with my husband and cooking dinner for him. I even did some laundry.
We have had lovely weather here the past two days and I have just been beside myself with things I want to do. I have been pushing and pushing myself harder each day to stay standing up as long a possible, walk as much as possible...to just be present in my own life.
My son is getting married in six weeks and I have set my goals on that. It is the thing I need to be 'present' for.
There is a trade off, of course, as always. All the sunshine, all the fresh air, all the exercise has played havoc with my glucose readings, and my allergies. I am once again like a child. Fresh air, a nice dinner, and a nap. Not just a little fresher upper nap, but a three hour nap. I have been waking up just in time to take my meds and go to bed. I can 't begin to tell you how much I love it, how happy I feel, how content to have some semblance of my life back.