I bought his plane ticket and sent it to him.
The last time all of us were together was to attend our father's funeral and divide the estate. Hateful words were slung, things I could have never imagined, from the mouths of my siblings. Painful words that I tried to excuse in the name of grief, but I know better. You don't say things like that if you don't mean them.
I need to find peace with this.
We are hoping to have a little family reunion, the sibs and I, as we are older now and should realize that time is fleeting. It draws near for all of us. I am hoping to see my sister again. I haven't seen her for five years. I had words of anger with her husband at which my sister was not present. Three days later I had a heart attack. I blame him for the hateful, disgusting, demeaning words he used against me and my family. I will never forgive him. After my heart attack my sister visited me in the hospital once. She walked out of the room and never came back, never called. Sisters shouldn't be this way. There are so many things we have missed together. So many things we should have shared. Sisters should be friends.
Graduations, weddings, birthdays, Christmas, holidays and a new baby niece.
My younger brother and I still keep in touch. We have always been close as that is possible since we are almost ten years apart. I guess I do feel mothering to him in many ways and he makes his displeasure known. We have remained friends but time, work, and family take their toll on other relationships and we do not spend as much time with each other as I wish we would.
We all need to find healing and peace with each other and our lives. I'll be honest...I'm terrified. I've spent many hours wondering what to expect and telling myself that I have to remain distant from all the drama that family get-togethers can bring. My health won't tolerate it and my spirit is too fragile to try. I so badly want this week to be filled with love, joy, and happiness as we look through boxes and boxes of old family photos. I want to hear laughter and stories of when we were kids. I want to know all the things I've missed in the last five years and rejoice in the goodness that I pray we still carry in our hearts.
life is short,
break all the rules.
and never, ever regret anything
that makes you smile.