sometimes it gets so hard to hide it well
I was not ready for the fall
to blind to see the writing on the wall
A man can tell a thousand lies
I've learned my lesson well
Hope to live to tell
tell the secrets I have learned till then
It will burn inside of me...
I know where beauty lives
I've seen it once, I know the warmth she gives
the light that you could never see
it shines inside, you can't take that from me....."
This Madonna song "Live to tell," was playing on the radio as I returned home from a doctors' appointment today. The second round of epidural pain injections for my back/leg. As I was laying on the o.r. table being prepped I heard the doctor say to the nurse that he had doubts that these injections are going to be beneficial in my case. IN MY CASE, what does that mean?? Anyway, I hate to admit it, truly it is difficult for me, (and I do know why Bruno!!) to pull up the shades and let people know that I am really struggling with all of this. I know I will adapt in time, but I am having trouble getting there, this time. I feel like I have been a pretty good sport about this ravaging mess that diabetes is. Take, take, take. And I ALWAYS put on the happy face, the it's o.k. face, the don't worry about me face, etc. But inside...now that's a different story. I have deep secrets (don't we all) and dark days (don't we all) and occasionally they get the better of me. I really don't know what to do this time. How do you deal with your "dark" days? What do you do to feel better about the situation? Do you eat...I do. Do you sleep...I do. Do you go out and buy yourself something "you deserve"...I've done that too. But how do you to turn it all around and not get yourself pulled down deeper?