"the nicest and the sweetest days are not those on which anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens, but just those that bring simple pleasure, following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a string."
Lucy Maud Montgomery

Thursday, June 26, 2008

waiting...waiting...waiting...

"the act of remaining inactive in one place while expecting something."

I have a confession to make: I am possibly the most impatient person on the earth. Now this does not seem to apply to my children or my friends. And my husband...well let's not get into that one. It's not a problem for me to wait in line, wait my turn, or wait for hell to freeze over as long as I get my turn when the time comes. But waiting for lab results, test results, doctor calls, pharmacy calls, and insurance calls is more than I can bear. I feel like I am stuck in one place, unable to move until the phone rings, IF the phone rings. And run out of patience and call them back is only to add to the wait and incur some nasty reply when you do so. And so I wait...

I had a battery of tests done on Tuesday because I've just not been feeling well, besides the usual falling apart stuff, and I've recently become anemic to the point of needing a transfusion of red blood cells. Waiting for that call...
They ran all kinds of blood test to see if they could find a reason for the anemia...waiting.
I have a list of other tests that need to be scheduled...waiting for call backs.
The list of possibilities is l-o-n-g and with my family history a little scary. For some reason I always tend to let my mind go to the worst case scenario. How would I handle that? Who would I tell? Who would I not tell? (there's some real family drama for another time!) What kind of treatment would I have? When would I say "no more?"
I'm not sure that is the best way to cope with the waiting. Perhaps it gives me a chance to play things out in my head so that whatever it is I'm "waiting" for will be a little less traumatic. Not that I'm expecting anything like that. O.K., now I'm just starting to sound crazy ; ) Well at least I've found something to do while I'm waiting for my "good" leg to get better, and my "new" leg to be finished...WAIT.

7 comments:

  1. Oh, Jojo, I pray nothing is seriously wrong. It's funny, well, not really, but seems we always think the worst!! I know I always do. My sister has pernicious(sp) anemia and has to have transplants. Her's is due to a bad reaction to a stomach bypass surgery 12 yrs ago.

    I will keep you in my prayers and my thoughts! PLEASE let me know!!!

    I also love your favorite Bible verse. God is a good God, all the time, we just don't get the answers we want sometimes.

    God Bless~
    Debbie

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  2. Phantom pain sucks - thanks for agreeing.

    I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

    Hallie

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  3. Awww, man, jj...while waiting, in and of itself, is bad enough; waiting for "the medical community" to grace you with a phone call is the worst. Oh, the places your mind will go, mostly winning out over rational thinking. I've gone through it, both with myself and Bill and I know how fun it is NOT. For pete's sake, it doesn't even help to get on the phone and carry on like a crazy person! So I hope you get the calls you're waiting for soon, and that the information they bring is ALL GOOD. Too much is too much, huh?

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  4. Awww, man, jj...while waiting, in and of itself, is bad enough; waiting for "the medical community" to grace you with a phone call is the worst. Oh, the places your mind will go, mostly winning out over rational thinking. I've gone through it, both with myself and Bill and I know how fun it is NOT. For pete's sake, it doesn't even help to get on the phone and carry on like a crazy person! So I hope you get the calls you're waiting for soon, and that the information they bring is ALL GOOD. Too much is too much, huh?

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  5. Sorry about the duplicate comment. Apparently I find my own words duplicate-worthy. Yup, uh huh :)...

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  6. Hugs and prayers for you... and when waiting I love to read... books blogs papers, anything I just love to hunker down and read... do you suppliment? vitamins and minerals?
    HUgs Laura

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  7. Sending good thoughts your way for good accurate results and a phone call about them soon!

    Found you through Kim-D.

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