Friday, May 9, 2008
to come here and rant about my pity-party. Remember the oldie, "it's my party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to. You would cry too if it happened to you?" Well, it is my party, my pity-party, and I'll cry if I want to, and I did. And I probably will, but I'm still not sure if I'll do it here. Part of me feels that this is not the place, it's not a medical page after all, and it's boring to others, and there is always the ever so slight possibility that an extended family member would read it and then all kinds of drama would ensue. Another part of me feels, hey it's my blog, it's my place to come and be "me," and being me includes all sorts of medical issues. And if my "people" have a problem with it, well, it's their problem. It took me fortyish years to figure out that I'm not responsible for any ones feelings. ( Middle child, perfectionist, peace-maker, responsible, guilt-ridden syndrome). Yeah.
So I decided, for now, to do the "Readers Digest" condensed version and leave the possibility of further explanation, complaining, whining, whatever open. In a nutshell, sorta. Recently I fractured a rib on my right side. I didn't fall, I wasn't in an accident, no, I did it coughing. Red flag for my doctor. Thing is, I didn't realize it was fractured. I had a LOT of pain and got concerned about my heart (heart attack survivor here), or my gallbladder or God forbid, my pancreas (family history and all), so I went to the E.R. I had all the usual blood work, EKG, ultrasound, CT scan, and they all seemed pretty normal (at least normal for me) except for the rib part. Yeah, relief. But short lived, as the ultrasound needed to be repeated, which by the way is a very painful experience when you have a rib fracture. Rib fracture, I can handle. Osteoporosis of my spine, I can manage. But a liver tumor???? I just don't know. I'm not "there" yet. More tests, etc, to come. For now all I can say is WTF??