I must first start with the story of the vacuum, not THE vacuum, but our vacuum. (I love typing that word, it almost seems dirty). When we bought this house, about 10 years ago, it was in a brand spanking new neighborhood. New homes, new carpets, new, new, new, what better place for door-to-door salesman. Or woman in this case. Baseball nut has never before, in twenty years of marriage, or has he since, bought anything from a door-to-door salesperson. Enter the pretty young woman selling vacuums. Quite oddly enough (?) she was very attractive. Wearing a short skirt and even smaller shirt, she came rolling her giant vacuum into our home to demonstrate just how "filthy" we are. She sucked up all kinds of dirt, with the vacuum of course. And what do you know? Approximately thirty minutes later we were the proud owners of a $1700 vacuum. seventeen hundred dollars. At this point I politely refused to EVER have anything to do with the usage of this monstrosity. Fast forward.......we have been "dog" sitting for about a month. She is a lovely girl, well behaved, well mannered, and gets along well with our Gracie.... BUT she's a shedder, not a huge problem but when you add that into our dogs shedding you have dust balls of dog hair floating through the house, layers of dog hair on all the furniture, and of course muddy "outside" dog feet. No problem, we'll clean it all up with the wonder vac. Not me of course. Well, here comes Christmas Eve and we are planning to have twenty two people over for dinner the next day. Dusting and vacuuming have been put off until the last minute because, well, why clean if no one is here to see it?? (baseball nut theory). To summarize: Christmas Eve, lots of dog hair, layers of dust, plug in the seventeen hundred dollar vacuum, whoosh, puff, smoke, cough......vacuum has died an ugly, ugly, death. Have you ever tried to clean your carpets with a dust-buster and double back tape?? And darn, Santa didn't bring a new one. Any cute door-to-door salesMEN out there??
It's also that time of year that we refer to as a "revolution" at our house. After all, the earth did make another trip a round the sun, and so to celebrate we have a big party and ring in the New Year, and make all kinds of silly resolutions to better ourselves and enhance the lives of those who have to be around us. It's really for their benefit. So with the usual, gotta exercise more, eat healthier, lose weight resolutions, I give you my list.
1) I will never again host a party and not put out a veggie tray. After all, I did say we are going to eat healthier, and what could be healthier than veggies and dip.
2) I will never again use the word "vacuum" so vicariously.
3)I will learn some reasonable punctuation, and try to limit the run-on sentence 'cause I have a feeling it's really, really, REALLY, annoying.
4) I promise not to be so annoying.
5) I'm sorry I'm so annoying. amen and hallelujah. Happy New Year